Lesson about Traffic Hazards.

There are some fairly significant differences between city driving and country driving. The roads are different, the speed is different, the hazards are more “flora and fauna” and less “traffic jams and road rage”. So if I have learnt anything from being part of the Masterchef generation, I know that after 3 weeks out here I am officially an expert on the topic. So here are my lessons on driving in the country:

First and foremost – Keep Your Eyes Open. And I don’t mean just staying awake. Considering we are talking about driving, I’m going to assume consciousness as a given. No, I mean Look and Scan. All. The. Time. These hazards come at you from the front, side, behind you, underneath you, so stay alert.

Hazard One – Dirt Roads. I suspect it’s like driving on bitumen with bare tyres cause things get a little slippery pretty quickly. So to avoid the heart palpitations that ensue when the car starts turning in a way you didn’t tell it to go, break early and slowly.

Hazard Two – Kangaroos. The novelty wore off pretty quickly cause I see HUNDREDS of these guys everyday. I probably should have put these as Hazard Number One as you’ll see a dead one every 200m. They will come at you from any direction, they love sunrise and sunset the most, and they just love getting in your way.

Hazard Three – Emus. I’m told they are the stupidest of the lot, but I’m yet to see it. Apparently they are known to start running away from you, change their minds, then run straight into the side of your car instead. At least they are easy to spot.

Hazard Four – Bush Turkeys. Don’t be fooled though, they look nothing like a turkey. More like a prouder, miniature emu. Or a librarian. In any case, I’ve been told they are partial to fly directly into your windscreen and smash it.

Hazard Five – Sheep. Sheep really hate being left out or left behind, so will always want to find their friends when you come along and it doesn’t really matter to them if it means crossing right in front of you. But their big fluffy bums are super cute when they run, so enjoy that.

Hazard Six – Cows. These guys are probably my favourite hazard as they’re super easy to spot and usually polite enough to let you pass. Plus, when they start to run they look a bit like a gangly 13 year old boy after a sudden growth spurt who now has these long limbs they aren’t sure what to do with. Enjoy that too.

I’m super thankful for the advice of my cousin and my employers who suggested getting a ‘roo bar, a two way radio and always carrying water, food and fuel (and don’t get me started about how thankful I am to Papa Pidge for getting it all together). With long stretches of dirt road and often 100km between phone reception that are quickly becoming part of my weekly routines, and I know one day they will be my lifeline. Plus if I get hungry, I’ll be able to cook up that dead ‘roo I probably hit.