I got to visit my cousin/best friend/favourite person this past weekend who lives a cheeky 7 hours down the road on a cattle station as well. It was JOYOUS.
I've been at the station for about two weeks now and it's been harder than I thought to settle in. I knew I was romanticising it all when I talked about in Sydney, but even still it has been a real battle of my own emotions.
It's been a lot of: "What am I doing? I wanted to move to Africa, not to Queensland, why am I here again? Is this the right choice for me? Am I happier here? Do I still have friends? Can I cope with the isolation? And the heat? And the change of conversation, pace of life, food, coffee, phone reception and limited internet?"
Basically, I've felt confused, isolated, quiet and a little lacking in joy.
Seeing my favourite was such a blessing. She is thoughtful and loves the Lord Jesus. She saw my problem right away: me. Everything I was saying was all about me. Joy that is found in your work/location/relationships can be beautiful indeed but like how the flowers bloom for a time but then whither and fade, so will all these things, and so will your joy.
My joy is found in my God and his Son who doesn't whither and fade but is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is good, all the time. His gospel is good news of GREAT JOY. Joy of a Saviour who rescues and redeems this broken world, who says I am now right before my God, who gifts me with purpose, who gives me real freedom and life to the full. And I can't believe how blessed I am to be so fully included in His Joy.
I know it won't be smooth sailing, and I will still feel isolated and confused, but I have been learning that each day that comes to be is filled with purpose for Gods beautiful Kingdom where God dwells with his people, and He is my deepest joy.
From the city to a cattle station in the outback, from a life in the theatre to being a country governess, from being lost to being found in Jesus, this little Pidgeon has a lot of lessons to learn.
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