I got to visit my cousin/best friend/favourite person this past weekend who lives a cheeky 7 hours down the road on a cattle station as well. It was JOYOUS.
I've been at the station for about two weeks now and it's been harder than I thought to settle in. I knew I was romanticising it all when I talked about in Sydney, but even still it has been a real battle of my own emotions.
It's been a lot of: "What am I doing? I wanted to move to Africa, not to Queensland, why am I here again? Is this the right choice for me? Am I happier here? Do I still have friends? Can I cope with the isolation? And the heat? And the change of conversation, pace of life, food, coffee, phone reception and limited internet?"
Basically, I've felt confused, isolated, quiet and a little lacking in joy.
Seeing my favourite was such a blessing. She is thoughtful and loves the Lord Jesus. She saw my problem right away: me. Everything I was saying was all about me. Joy that is found in your work/location/relationships can be beautiful indeed but like how the flowers bloom for a time but then whither and fade, so will all these things, and so will your joy.
My joy is found in my God and his Son who doesn't whither and fade but is the same yesterday, today and forever. He is good, all the time. His gospel is good news of GREAT JOY. Joy of a Saviour who rescues and redeems this broken world, who says I am now right before my God, who gifts me with purpose, who gives me real freedom and life to the full. And I can't believe how blessed I am to be so fully included in His Joy.
I know it won't be smooth sailing, and I will still feel isolated and confused, but I have been learning that each day that comes to be is filled with purpose for Gods beautiful Kingdom where God dwells with his people, and He is my deepest joy.
From the city to a cattle station in the outback, from a life in the theatre to being a country governess, from being lost to being found in Jesus, this little Pidgeon has a lot of lessons to learn.
Monday, 28 October 2013
Background Lessons
Some very thoughtful people back home recommended I write a blog on this new adventure of mine. I resisted at first, mostly because I'm not a great writer, but also because I wanted a clean slate. I wanted to take advantage of this fresh start - not maintain too many links that tie me to the past and stop me from moving forward.
But the past is actually very important. There is so much to learn from what has come before, from what has shaped us so far and what has shaped the people who shape us.
Those who know me well also know I have a TERRIBLE memory. So... I've decided to heed the advice of these friends and start recording down all these lessons I'm learning.
A little background before I begin:
I was born and bread in Sydney, went to uni and worked for two years before moving to South Africa to volunteer with orphaned little ones for about 14 months over a 3 year period. I fell head over heels in love with King Jesus while I was there, and also fell in love with Africa and it's children. A small seed of desire to move there, work and adopt children was planted and it just keeps growing...even if I don't water it.
But... I've found myself back in Sydney since April 2011, working in the Arts again, and habits dictated that I quietly slipped back into my life before Africa and I was putting down roots without any real desire too.
So when the opportunity to move to outback Queensland to be a governess on a small family-run cattle station presented itself, the idea enticed me. I wanted to get out of Sydney, get away from my old habits, save some money. I wanted to live a quieter life and do something productive while I work to move back to my heart-land. God opened many doors very easily to enable the move and with the road straight before me I jumped in my car and headed north.
I now work with two precious little girls with beautiful hearts. They have had a rough trot so far, and without saying too much, their circumstance speaks to my heart that wants to serve the mother-and-father-less. I praise God for the resilience and desire for fun he has built into children.
I have no idea what is ahead of me - whether I will just be here for a few months or another year - but I want to love God, love people, work hard, speak truth and grow in faith in the mean time. And in the end, my home is with Jesus. So no matter where I am, I am found in Him.
But the past is actually very important. There is so much to learn from what has come before, from what has shaped us so far and what has shaped the people who shape us.
Those who know me well also know I have a TERRIBLE memory. So... I've decided to heed the advice of these friends and start recording down all these lessons I'm learning.
A little background before I begin:
I was born and bread in Sydney, went to uni and worked for two years before moving to South Africa to volunteer with orphaned little ones for about 14 months over a 3 year period. I fell head over heels in love with King Jesus while I was there, and also fell in love with Africa and it's children. A small seed of desire to move there, work and adopt children was planted and it just keeps growing...even if I don't water it.
But... I've found myself back in Sydney since April 2011, working in the Arts again, and habits dictated that I quietly slipped back into my life before Africa and I was putting down roots without any real desire too.
So when the opportunity to move to outback Queensland to be a governess on a small family-run cattle station presented itself, the idea enticed me. I wanted to get out of Sydney, get away from my old habits, save some money. I wanted to live a quieter life and do something productive while I work to move back to my heart-land. God opened many doors very easily to enable the move and with the road straight before me I jumped in my car and headed north.
I now work with two precious little girls with beautiful hearts. They have had a rough trot so far, and without saying too much, their circumstance speaks to my heart that wants to serve the mother-and-father-less. I praise God for the resilience and desire for fun he has built into children.
I have no idea what is ahead of me - whether I will just be here for a few months or another year - but I want to love God, love people, work hard, speak truth and grow in faith in the mean time. And in the end, my home is with Jesus. So no matter where I am, I am found in Him.
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