Lesson in Being an Isolated Extrovert

It's strange to think back on why we made some of the big decisions of our lives. This move is pretty high up on the list of life altering decisions....but did I really think it was a good idea for me - a very affectionate extrovert - to move to a remote, isolated cattle station to live solely with a family of quiet introverts? ...Didn't I consider how lonely it was going to be? HUH?!

In all fairness, most of the time it's actually been a really good experience. I like the job and the family are really great to work for, and there is quiet and peace here like I have never experienced before. 

But sometimes, you just want to hug a friend. And say a lot of words.

So what then?

I am blessed to have the resources to go the 180km into town each weekend and hang out with the Baptists on a Sunday morning. They have been amazing. More than I can describe. And some real friendships are just starting to bloom out of the beautiful welcome and fellowship I've experienced in these last 9 months, even if I am such a nutcase who has no idea how to act appropriately in the city, let alone in the country. But even so, none of this can replace just a simple evening with your mum on the couch doing the crossword, or looking into the eyes of an old and beloved friend. Thinking about this sometimes makes me feel frustrated or angry that I can't have it (maybe I spend too much time with children?) and sometimes it makes me sad and I cry with the longing pains in my heart to feel totally comfortable and safe in friendships again. 

But... those reactions really only happen sometimes. Most of the time as I remember my Saviour, my Brother, my Friend, I am blown away by how tangibly real His companionship is and I am so thankful. Jesus has truly been my rock, my comforter, my all in all. He has calmed my anxious heart with his loving presence more times than I can say. Gosh, He is a good friend. I wouldn't have the patience for me that He does. So, this is what I have been learning of Him out here in the alone-ness of my current state of life. And I haven't been lonely. 

I could really use a few more hugs in my life and wouldn't say no to have a few more close friends around me regularly to share my life with, but I don't say any of this with despair. Just hope for the future and faith in the One who knows me and loves me as I look forward to that great day when I can finally give Him a hug. Bring it on.